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View Poll Results: Would you marry a man who's a new Muslim?

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368. You may not vote on this poll
  • Yes

    269 73.10%
  • No

    42 11.41%
  • Maybe - Depends on circumstances (If you choose this, please elaborate?)

    57 15.49%
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  1. #1
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    Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?




    This is a question that goes out to the sisters. The reason why I ask is because I'm curious to know how I and other new Muslim men will be and am perceived by our sisters in Islam in regards to being potential husbands. Rather than listing a lot of things that I think will be issues (such as the inevitable problem with parents, and tradition/culture) I'm curious to know more about what Muslim women think about this subject.

  2. #2
    Agent of Chaos Wolfn's Avatar
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    Good question. I'm a Muslim convert, but my kuffar parents say that no-one will want to marry me. They say that born-Muslims want to marry "pure Muslims" who are not converts, and they said that non-Muslims wouldn't want to marry me because of my religion.
    Dreams feel real while we're in them. It's only when we wake up do we realize something was actually strange.

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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    Quote Originally Posted by Wolfn View Post
    Good question. I'm a Muslim convert, but my kuffar parents say that no-one will want to marry me. They say that born-Muslims want to marry "pure Muslims" who are not converts, and they said that non-Muslims wouldn't want to marry me because of my religion.
    I worry about these very same things as well..


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    Odan layla tul qadr's Avatar
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    I don't think that the case is that sisters go for "pure- muslims" but it might be that they go for a brother from the same ethnic background as themselves actually..but many sisters marry brothers who allah has guided back to the deen, and like that about them so i wouldn't worry so much brother .
    “Curiosity is the very basis of education and if you tell me that curiosity killed the cat, I say only the cat died nobly.”

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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    Quote Originally Posted by layla tul qadr View Post
    I don't think that the case is that sisters go for "pure- muslims" but it might be that they go for a brother from the same ethnic background as themselves actually..but many sisters marry brothers who allah has guided back to the deen, and like that about them so i wouldn't worry so much brother .
    I try not to think or worry about it so much, but I think this is something that all converts/reverts, man or woman, think about..

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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    and as i have found. Sometime they want to marry us, but the parents keep them from it due to wanting their daughter to marry from their culture. from a good muslim family...

  7. #7
    A rose, Poetry and Prose zammy's Avatar
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    A lot of sisters prefer marrying reverts actually cuz they don't come with cultural baggage.. at least that's what I've been hearing lol.
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    yup, i sort of agree with you zammy

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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    Id consider it but it would pose problems with the family. So I generally tend to stay clear of everything that may lead to even a slight conflict with my parents.......I understand they are flawed in thier way of thinking but it doesnt mean I have to go out of my way to find someone, just to prove my point to them. I want my parents blessing in my marriage and thus im quite happy marrying a person who is from a similar cultural understanding to myself.
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  10. #10
    Senior Member muslimah10's Avatar
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    i chose maybe in the poll. im gonna be honest but it kinda depends. mostly on how much of a commitment the guy has made to Islam. If he says he's a revert and has taken his shahadah and also practises Islam but still has some habits of the past which don't fit in with Islam then maybe no. on the other hand if the guy is a revert and has learnt what he needs to know about Islam, or at least willing to learn more about Islam and my background then i wouldn't have a problem with that.

    one of my cousin is married to a revert woman so it shows there is hope and there are people out there who will consider reverts.

  11. #11
    Striving for Perfection Ibrahim70's Avatar
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    Quote Originally Posted by zammy View Post
    A lot of sisters prefer marrying reverts actually cuz they don't come with cultural baggage.. at least that's what I've been hearing lol.
    I've heard this, and also been told this, too so Brothers Wolfn and Tariq216 please don't worry, your Princess is out there for you

    May Allah ta'ala grant you both with pious Sisters
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  12. #12
    nom nom nom Islamiyyah's Avatar
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    Yes I would. And if he wasnt too knowledgable about Islaam, I would help him. I am a revert myself so I know how it is.
    Allah the Almighty has laid down religious duties, so do not neglect them. He has set boundaries, so do not over step them. He has prohibited some things, so do not violate them; about some things He was silent-out of compassion for you, not forgetfulness, so seek not after them

  13. #13
    I'm a sis! Russo's Avatar
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    Both myself and many many of my friends are now looking to marry reverts only because born-muslims from our background are complete timewasters and hold too much cultural baggage and demands/conditions.

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    Striving for Perfection Ibrahim70's Avatar
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    Quote Originally Posted by Islamiyyah View Post
    Yes I would. And if he wasnt too knowledgable about Islaam, I would help him. I am a revert myself so I know how it is.


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  15. #15
    Transformation Complete Zesty's Avatar
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    LOL actually i think alot of sisters would quite like to marry a revert! Theres nothing wrong with it and sometimes its even a preference for some! Theres a whole discussion i think somewhere in the marriage section about marrying reverts/cultural baggage etc (and sister Dhakiyya made a very good point that reverts also come with baggage! just a different sort) I guess for alot of asians is just the escape from a "typical" mentality in some ways.

    Personally i had no issues with marrying reverts- i was actually on a mission at one point to only marry a revert lol but i say "had" cos Alhamdullilah i am happily married
    Brother Tariq- i wouldnt worry about it.There are many sisters who are open to marrying reverts (and many famillies also being accepting of different nations and communities) and at the end of the day, Allah Ta'ala has already chosen your spouse for you.
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?



    dont worry about it to much, there are sisters out there who are open to any culture be it born muslim or a revert mashallah, as long as ur deen is on point alhamdullilah, then you will find someone who will be right for u


    and allah knows best


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  17. #17
    Odan MG's Avatar
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    Quote Originally Posted by Wolfn View Post
    Good question. I'm a Muslim convert, but my kuffar parents say that no-one will want to marry me. They say that born-Muslims want to marry "pure Muslims" who are not converts, and they said that non-Muslims wouldn't want to marry me because of my religion.

    brother that is soooo not true, i know of sisters married to revert brothers, so please do not think this is the case.
    For The Non-Muslims:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlMBkJme8J4The ProphetSAW sed, "(There are2words which R dear 2 the most gracious (Allah SWT)&very easy4the tongue2say but very heavy in the balance.They are:Subhan Allahi Wa Bihamdihi - Subhan Allahil-Azim.Islam- Why Pay For The Disease,When The Cure Is Free

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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    Most practicing sisters would have no problem with marrying a revert brother. Its mainly the parents who have the problem. Alot of the older geneneration prefer their daughter to marry in to their own cultural community, theres nothing wrong with that, its when it comes to colour thats an an issue as its an Illness in many Muslims.

    Rather than listing a lot of things that I think will be issues (such as the inevitable problem with parents, and tradition/culture) I'm curious to know more about what Muslim women think about this subject.
    Im Indian and my husband is English, we've never had a culture problem with eachother be it in our marriage or in how we raise our children. Culture is a dominant aspect in every ones life of course, such as language, dress, food, art, etc but this isnt a problem as it makes things more exciting. You try different things and learn alot, you become more aware of your own culture too because they become highlighted! Ultimately we do share one culture and that is the Islamic culture. It ties everything in nicely and helps to bridge any gaps that people may have.

    Its a great thing and if my kids wanted to marry a somali or black or chinese or asian etc I would have no problems with it, infact I hope I have a whole different range of grandkids from all parts of the world.
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    Good question. I'm a Muslim convert, but my kuffar parents say that no-one will want to marry me. They say that born-Muslims want to marry "pure Muslims" who are not converts, and they said that non-Muslims wouldn't want to marry me because of my religion.
    When my husband told his parents he became Muslim, they had the same concerns but in terms of the wider Muslim community. They said as hes white hell not be accepted because theyre asian etc. Alhumdulillah they realised this wasnt the case as when he became Muslim every one was giving him Salaams on the street from brown to white to best of both, his friends were brothers from all different parts of the world and so his parents obviously realised then that Islam is for every one not just brown people.
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  20. #20
    There and back again... Safiyyah89's Avatar
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    of course i would, dont think anyone would say they wouldnt, its more parents who are against it, but ive seen alot of reverts marry and they become part of the family so u dont have to worry inshallah
    ‎"when she is a daughter, she opens a door of jannah for her father. when she is a wife, she completes half of the deen of her husband. when she is a mother, Jannah lies under her feet. If everyone knew the status of a muslim women in islam, even men would want to be women." Sheikh Akram Nadawi

  21. #21
    I speak Sarcasm Hijabistani's Avatar
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    i would consider a revert too, sometimes culture can be overwhelming and even stop you from practicing Islam properly, so reverts have that benefit.

    and some reasons why SOME muslims wouldnt marry reverts, is fear that they might go back to thier other religion...this also happens amongst revert couples too. and many elderly asian muslims feel if their children marry reverts, the children are losing their culture, mother tongue etc...

  22. #22
    Odan Umm Saalehah's Avatar
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    i would consider a revert too, sometimes culture can be overwhelming and even stop you from practicing Islam properly, so reverts have that benefit.
    Youd be suprised. New Muslims have their own culture too which conflicts with Islam. Some bring it with them and some realise later on that its wrong. Such as Mixing, Islamic dress etc.
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  23. #23
    I speak Sarcasm Hijabistani's Avatar
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    Quote Originally Posted by Umm Saalehah View Post
    Youd be suprised. New Muslims have their own culture too which conflicts with Islam. Some bring it with them and some realise later on that its wrong. Such as Mixing, Islamic dress etc.
    yeah i suppose thats true too, didnt think of it like that. hmm...i take my statement back then! lol

  24. #24
    umm Ayman
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    well whenever my husband comes to me and says do you know anyone looking to get married acouple brothers are looking. i say yea and next quetion... any reverts?

    so i think muslim men like to marry reverts alot for many reasons.

    but i don't think sisters have much problem marrying revert men...apart from thier family cos my Dad has had loads of intrest mashaAllah TabarakaAllah and his an old dude too 41 may Allah grant him a pious and umble wife amin amin amin
    And to Allah belong the soldiers of the heavens and the earth, and ever is Allah Knowing and Wise. [And] that He may admit the believing men and the believing women to gardens beneath which rivers flow to abide therein eternally and remove from them their misdeeds - and ever is that, in the sight of Allah , a great attainment.

    Surah Fatĥ 4/5

  25. #25
    nom nom nom Islamiyyah's Avatar
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hijabistani View Post
    i would consider a revert too, sometimes culture can be overwhelming and even stop you from practicing Islam properly, so reverts have that benefit.

    and some reasons why SOME muslims wouldnt marry reverts, is fear that they might go back to thier other religion...this also happens amongst revert couples too. and many elderly asian muslims feel if their children marry reverts, the children are losing their culture, mother tongue etc...
    Im sorry, but thats stupid. Im a revert and I love my religion more than some "born" muslims, and I also see more reverts who are MUCH more knowledgable in the deen than born muslims. And to add, more "born" muslims have left their deen than reverts. Whoever thinks a revert will go back to their own religion needs to think outside of the little black box. Why do some born muslims think they are the best in deen??


    All of sahaba were new muslims, would you reject them?? They werent born Muslims!!! COME ON PEOPLE
    Allah the Almighty has laid down religious duties, so do not neglect them. He has set boundaries, so do not over step them. He has prohibited some things, so do not violate them; about some things He was silent-out of compassion for you, not forgetfulness, so seek not after them

  26. #26
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    Quote Originally Posted by Islamiyyah View Post
    Im sorry, but thats stupid. Im a revert and I love my religion more than some "born" muslims, and I also see more reverts who are MUCH more knowledgable in the deen than born muslims. And to add, more "born" muslims have left their deen than reverts. Whoever thinks a revert will go back to their own religion needs to think outside of the little black box. Why do some born muslims think they are the best in deen??


    All of sahaba were new muslims, would you reject them?? They werent born Muslims!!! COME ON PEOPLE
    It may sound stupid but you have to remember that some people may have reverted to Islam for different reasons to you such as pressure, or to marry a Muslim bf/gf or just for the hype etc. Its happened so many times. Some people come to Islam then get put off and stop claiming the deen then come back to it due to something new theyve learnt or something that put them off before they are now willing to face etc. Reverts can be fragile at the begining and some are stronger then others. I dont think its an irrational fear for the parents of the girl to have. Its just out of concern. If the person is clearly strong in the deen then of course there is nothing to fear.
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  27. #27
    umm Ayman
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    Quote Originally Posted by Islamiyyah View Post
    Im sorry, but thats stupid. Im a revert and I love my religion more than some "born" muslims, and I also see more reverts who are MUCH more knowledgable in the deen than born muslims. And to add, more "born" muslims have left their deen than reverts. Whoever thinks a revert will go back to their own religion needs to think outside of the little black box. Why do some born muslims think they are the best in deen??


    All of sahaba were new muslims, would you reject them?? They werent born Muslims!!! COME ON PEOPLE
    hmm good point...
    And to Allah belong the soldiers of the heavens and the earth, and ever is Allah Knowing and Wise. [And] that He may admit the believing men and the believing women to gardens beneath which rivers flow to abide therein eternally and remove from them their misdeeds - and ever is that, in the sight of Allah , a great attainment.

    Surah Fatĥ 4/5

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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    And ayway we pray istikara b4 marrage so is going to be is going to be and pray to Allah fr guidance. i don't believe it is befitting for ppl to refuse revers on tese basis that they might leave the deen, cos that could happen to anyone. thefact we are practicig islam is only a blssing from Allah! Revert or not!
    And to Allah belong the soldiers of the heavens and the earth, and ever is Allah Knowing and Wise. [And] that He may admit the believing men and the believing women to gardens beneath which rivers flow to abide therein eternally and remove from them their misdeeds - and ever is that, in the sight of Allah , a great attainment.

    Surah Fatĥ 4/5

  29. #29
    Odan Sister-Ameena*'s Avatar
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    Quote Originally Posted by zammy View Post
    A lot of sisters prefer marrying reverts actually cuz they don't come with cultural baggage.. at least that's what I've been hearing lol.
    No offense, but that is not a solution b.c they come with more, non-Muslim family members that might hate you and their son, and try to teach your child the trinity on family visits. Allaahu mustacan!

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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    ...
    Last edited by Basil al-Mamluk; 03-01-09 at 03:09 AM. Reason: on second thought: I don't even wanna go there, forget I even posted anything here
    قُلْ يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ هَادُوا إِن زَعَمْتُمْ أَنَّكُمْ أَوْلِيَاء لِلَّهِ مِن دُونِ النَّاسِ فَتَمَنَّوُا الْمَوْتَ إِن كُنتُمْ صَادِقِينَ
    وَلَا يَتَمَنَّوْنَهُ أَبَدًا بِمَا قَدَّمَتْ أَيْدِيهِمْ وَاللَّهُ عَلِيمٌ بِالظَّالِمِينَ
    قُلْ إِنَّ الْمَوْتَ الَّذِي تَفِرُّونَ مِنْهُ فَإِنَّهُ مُلَاقِيكُمْ ثُمَّ تُرَدُّونَ إِلَى عَالِمِ الْغَيْبِ وَالشَّهَادَةِ فَيُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ


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    Odan
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    Quote Originally Posted by zammy View Post
    A lot of sisters prefer marrying reverts actually cuz they don't come with cultural baggage.. at least that's what I've been hearing lol.
    Excellent analysis.

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    There and back again... Safiyyah89's Avatar
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    Quote Originally Posted by Basil al-Mamluk View Post
    I'll bite my tongue on why I think some sisters want to marry reverts... it has nothing to do with cultural baggage though.
    care to elaborate akhi? wat other reason is it?
    ‎"when she is a daughter, she opens a door of jannah for her father. when she is a wife, she completes half of the deen of her husband. when she is a mother, Jannah lies under her feet. If everyone knew the status of a muslim women in islam, even men would want to be women." Sheikh Akram Nadawi

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    Super Moderator -Yassar's Avatar
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    Quote Originally Posted by Basil al-Mamluk View Post
    ...
    check my pm...
    "Allah's choicest people are those whom His fear has driven to absolute silence although they are neither helpless nor dumb. Rather they are possessors of eloquence and have power to speak and sense to understand. But constant glorification of Allah's name has so overpossessed their wits that their hearts are overawed and their lips sealed. When they get established in this stage they hasten towards righteoussness."

  34. #34
    Odan Sister-Ameena*'s Avatar
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    Quote Originally Posted by Safiyyah89 View Post
    care to elaborate akhi? wat other reason is it?
    Sis, some sisters have an inferiority complex and look for the ''fair-skinned'' to be pc, brothers so their babies can be light-skinneded and have beautiful blue eyes or green eyes. For some, it really has nothing to do with Islam, but the look of the child. Many cultures put fair skin on a high pedestal.

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    There and back again... Safiyyah89's Avatar
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sister-Ameena* View Post
    Sis, some sisters have an inferiority complex and look for the ''fair-skinned'' to be pc, brothers so their babies can be light-skinneded and have beautiful blue eyes or green eyes. For some, it really has nothing to do with Islam, but the look of the child. Many cultures put fair skin on a high pedestal.
    yea but that wouldnt make sense all the time, cuz come on not every revert is white, there are black,blue,green reverts(not literally lol but u know what i mean) so how could anyone think that? i find that really dumb(about ppl who think like that), its the whole skin color thing again subhanallah
    y cant ppl just be happy with their skin tone? pathetic really
    ‎"when she is a daughter, she opens a door of jannah for her father. when she is a wife, she completes half of the deen of her husband. when she is a mother, Jannah lies under her feet. If everyone knew the status of a muslim women in islam, even men would want to be women." Sheikh Akram Nadawi

  36. #36
    ام آدم Bint.Omar's Avatar
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sister-Ameena* View Post
    Sis, some sisters have an inferiority complex and look for the ''fair-skinned'' to be pc, brothers so their babies can be light-skinneded and have beautiful blue eyes or green eyes. For some, it really has nothing to do with Islam, but the look of the child. Many cultures put fair skin on a high pedestal.
    very true sis...cnt believe people would actually stoop this low.

    i would consider marrying a revert...i think a lot of the best muslims nowadays are reverts. But tell that to the parents.....that deserves a thread of its own.

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    Umm Ruwaydah Aaliyah90's Avatar
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    ofcourse i wold marry a revert to be quite honest... not for the fact that i want my babys to look like them or whatever i thinks a bunch of nonsense ... i say this(and im not generalizing and i hope no one takes offence to this) but i think that revert have more of a drive to learn about the deen(and there are born muslims who hae this drive too) but from what i see and understand is that born mulims take islam for granted SubhanAllah where as the revert have that Thirst and passion but yeh ... and ofcourse everyone has there times and everyone is differnt and it does take time for someone to get knowledgeable whether new muslim or born muslim ... but yeah thats the way i see things ... again i ope noone got offended and pardon my ignorance if anyone found me ignorant

    Wa Salam

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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sister-Ameena* View Post
    Sis, some sisters have an inferiority complex and look for the ''fair-skinned'' to be pc, brothers so their babies can be light-skinneded and have beautiful blue eyes or green eyes. For some, it really has nothing to do with Islam, but the look of the child. Many cultures put fair skin on a high pedestal.
    Sad but soo true.. Whenever I hear of a revert marrying a born-muslim, ppl always say "They will have the most adorable children."
    Abdullah bin Amr (radiallahu 'anhu)narrated from The Prophet (sallahu alayhi wasallam) : "The Merciful is merciful to those who show mercy. Have mercy for those who are on the earth, the one in the heavens will show mercy to you."

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    There and back again... Safiyyah89's Avatar
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    Quote Originally Posted by Abeedah View Post
    Sad but soo true.. Whenever I hear of a revert marrying a born-muslim, ppl always say "They will have the most adorable children."
    y is it that when someone says revert they automatically jump to a white revert? seriously, and when u tell them no not a white u get the oposite treatment, this happened to my cousin and i was sooo mad, pathetic walahi the state that our parents are in, sometimes i wonder if where still livin in the jahiliyah days
    ‎"when she is a daughter, she opens a door of jannah for her father. when she is a wife, she completes half of the deen of her husband. when she is a mother, Jannah lies under her feet. If everyone knew the status of a muslim women in islam, even men would want to be women." Sheikh Akram Nadawi

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    Odan Sister-Ameena*'s Avatar
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    Re: Question for the sisters; Would you marry a Muslim convert/revert?

    Quote Originally Posted by Safiyyah89 View Post
    yea but that wouldnt make sense all the time, cuz come on not every revert is white, there are black,blue,green reverts(not literally lol but u know what i mean) so how could anyone think that? i find that really dumb(about ppl who think like that), its the whole skin color thing again subhanallah
    y cant ppl just be happy with their skin tone? pathetic really
    That's the point, they go for the whiter-than-white, blue-eyed, blonde-haired brother.


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