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  1. #1
    mamada
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    Icon9 sufi/salafi marriage

    Assalalmu alaykum wa rahmatullah....

    I dont know what to do..im getting married in about 4 months. My mother and i done all the shopping and preparing for the wedding. I am happy with my fiance, but now i am starting to get double thoughts. Originally, i was okay and comfortable with the fact that he is a Sufi ( im salafi) - even though my dad was proper against it but he came around at the end alhamdulillah. Now everyone is happy and and excited for us except.....me. I'm so confused and i don't know what to do...just having this change of heart is making me sad and depressed. I know i should have thought about this before i got engaged to him and honestly i don't wanna call it off cos he means a lot to me. At the end of the day, he is a Muslim. but the major thing im worried about is about my future kids (insha'Allah). i don't want them to be confused where mum says this and dad says something different ...e.g, bid'ah, shirk etc. Has anyone here been in the same situation? Or might know anyone else that might have been in a similar situation?

    May Allah reward you all.

  2. #2
    Dh1kr
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    We are all Muslims at the end of the day.

    If you are afraid of your husband doing a little dhikr I would advise you not to worry, however if he is dancing and single in mixed groups with guitars (extreme) then it is up to you to call the marriage off.
    Your kids can take the best from both perhaps? Allahu Alam

  3. #3
    whenever
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    yes, i would end it. if you fear itll have a neg affect on your kids in future, end it inshallah. you have a responsibility as a mother, and i think one of them is to give your kids the best islamic education, and that starts with good parents.

    also it may cause tension between u and ur hubbi in future (if u marry the guy), as he has his belief and u have urs) which will make the kids sad and confused, 'cos mummy and daddy will be arguing all the time.

    i suggest to end it inshallah

  4. #4
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    none of this matters. don't listen to 'end-it' logic.

  5. #5
    whenever
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    ^ and why not?
    i mean, the kids are the ones that ae gonna get struck in teh middle and get confused.

    @thread stater, pray istikhara also.

  6. #6
    passingbynow
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    salam

    ur a salfi and you agreed to a sufi husband... your dad was correct in being agaisnt this marriage but these days people dont really want to know that the father is the head of the household and should be obeyed....


    how can you marry an innovator? doesnt make sense to me...

  7. #7
    New Grand Mufti of Ummah Fais's Avatar
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    Wa Salaam.

    If you think he commits shirk .. then how in world can you marry him?

    It depends what kind of sufi he is. You get different kinds, unfortunately you get a lot of imposters.

    But If he knows, practice's and understands true tassawaf like all the great scholars did, then you have nothing to worry about. However if he doesn't .. then you do.
    If you were in the clouds, Allah would raise us to you or lower you to us for battle.

    said this to the Byzantine troops when they retreated from the battle field to the fortified town of Chalcis.

    - Khalid ibn Walid

  8. #8
    Sumayah1234
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    Icon7 Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    Salam..
    Listenin to the parents is really important in islam, n sumtimes we might think our parents dont understand our situation..but trust me they are mostly right.. ur father was right about this sufi brother ur thinkin of marryin...i realli think u shuldnt marry him, he might commit shirk n he most likely commits bidah (every innovation, leads to misguidence and every misguidence is in da hell fire)...imagine if he mis-guides ur children..n allah will hold u account because u married him knowing how his aqeeda is...N yess we are all muslims, alhamdulilah, but some muslims are truly in error wen it comes to dere aqeedah..n i dont think u shuld marry him sis...plus it doesnt matter if u prepared 4 da marriage u still can CANCEL...its better now den wen ur actually married to him...
    p.s i think ur dad will be pleased deep down...

  9. #9
    Senile Member seven's Avatar
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    why do people automatically assume the guy is an innovator?

    when will people get it through their heads that sufism does not equal bidah?

    anyone that believes that are branding many many famous scholars of the past and innovators.
    Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, then beat you with experience.

  10. #10
    Veni, vidi, vici perfectpearl's Avatar
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    My advise to you is that you have HUGE differences and you wont end it with the arguments. I think you should talk to your fiance about it and if you start arguing you know what to do. It is better to marry someone with equal beliefs. I dont know if you have ever seen the salafi vs sufi debates but they are intense. If you dont want future problems then i recommend you to end if he is one bid3e sufi. If he is a sufi that doesnt know much about bidah or shirk and is able to change his ways to accommodate you then go on with the marriage. You need to talk to him and find out first.
    Last edited by al-ghazalli; 18-08-08 at 06:36 PM. Reason: not relevant to the topic
    Surat Al-An'am verse 26: Of them there are some who (pretend to) listen to thee; but We have thrown veils on their hearts, so they understand it not, and deafness in their ears; if they saw every one of the Signs, they will not believe in them; in so much that when they come to thee; they (but) dispute with thee; the Unbelievers say: "These are nothing but tales of the ancients."

  11. #11
    Super Moderator al-ghazalli's Avatar
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    As Salam Alikum

    Sister if you believe your future husband will abide the Qur`an, Sunnah and our Pious Predecessor's then you have a great husband and do not need to worry about anything.

    Imam Nawawi (Rahimullah) is the Shaykhul Islam for the Shafi madhab and a great Scholar of hadith and fiqh and he states;

    The way of Sufism is based on five principles:

    1) Having godfearingness privately and publcily,

    2) Living according to the sunna in word and deed

    3) Indifference to where others accept or reject one

    4) Satisfaction with Allah (SWT) Most High in dearth and plenty

    5) And returning to Allah (SWT) in happiness or affliction

    The principles of treating the illnesses of the soul are also five: lightening the stomach by diminishing one’s food and drink, taking refuge in Allah (SWT) Most High from the unforeseen when it befalls, shunning situations involving what one fears to fall victom to, continually asking for Allah (SWT)’s forgiveness and His blessings upon the Prophet ( Allah (SWT) bless him and give him peace) night and day with full presence of mind, and keeping the company of him who guides one to Allah (SWT).” ( al-Maqasid fi bayan ma yajibu ma’rifatuhu min al-din(y106), 83-84, 87).

    These are the most basic principles of Sufism and as you can see none of this contradicts the Sharia.

    What most people say about tasawwuf is garbage, most have no knowledge on the subjec itself nor have they bothered to read the classical texts and evidence behind many actions.

    Make Salatul Istihara and take with your future husband about any fears you may have.

    And with Allah is all Success.
    Last edited by al-ghazalli; 18-08-08 at 06:38 PM.
    The spiritual warrior is he who breaks an idol;
    and the idol of each person is his Ego.

    - Imam Abul Qasim al-Qushayri

  12. #12
    speak good or be silent the_middle_road's Avatar
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    I don't get how some people are so quick to judge the brother. We know absolutely nothing about him. Subhanallah!!!!!
    "And thus have We willed you to be a community of the middle way."
    (al-Baqarah: 143)

    Allahumma innaa na'udhu bika min an nushrika bika shai-an na'lamuh; wa nastaghfiruka limaa laa na'lam.

  13. #13
    في أستراليا truepath's Avatar
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by the_middle_road View Post
    I don't get how some people are so quick to judge the brother. We know absolutely nothing about him. Subhanallah!!!!!
    And they think they are the self-righteous and the pious salafis.

    May Allah guide us all. Ameen
    لا أريد مِنْكُمْ جَزَاء وَلا شُكُورًا

  14. #14
    .dum.vita.est.spes.est. Pippin1376's Avatar
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    You are probably having some pre-wedding jitters. I'm assuming it happens to even the best of us, so don't worry. If you feel this way, I suggest praying istikhara and then talking to your husband about your concerns. He may just ease your doubts and you'll be happy with him even more.

    May Allah give you strength sister and bless your marriage. Ameen.
    "...And never give up hope of Allah's Soothing Mercy: truly no one despairs of Allah's Soothing Mercy, except those who have no faith."

    Surah Yusuf
    [12:87]

    .:.


    .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
    Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you


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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    sis its not for anyone of us to judge and give you a decision, the decision must come soley from you, but before making a decision, pray your istikhara, inshallah this shall help you

  16. #16
    enchanted_rose
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    Its totally up to you, personally I see nothing wrong with marrying a “sufi” as long as what they are doing does not contradict the qur’an and sunnah. In fact I would love too marry a sufi =P but the decision is up to you, if your not comfortable with it or have questions about his beliefs then suggest you talk to him. Find out what he does, who his Shaykh is, what his Shaykh is like and what he learns as well.

    Why are you having doubts now? Didn’t you consider this at the beginning? Im sorry if im quick to judge but it seems a little odd that your considering the difference now when it should have been the first thing you thought of.
    Any way whatever you decide make sure your content with and also make dua.

  17. #17
    mamada
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    Jazaka Allah for every1 that replied. I prayed istikhara alhamdulillah. I decided that im not gonna go on with it. Actually thats what we both wanted - to end it. n im just glad it wasn't me the one to tell him he did it himself! I guess this was going in his mind as well lol. So im glad i don't have to feel guilty or anything. But anyhow thanks again everyone! Actually i want the moderators to delete this thread. Thanks.

    - mamada

  18. #18
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    Salaams


    I'm glad i found this forum, i'm now in the same position as the sister. i know she didn't marry the brother but i don't know what to do. I've also found a wonderful brother but we believe in different things. I wouldn't class myself as salafi. i'm just a simple sunni sister, striving to follow what's authentic but i fall short like most. However, i don't celebrate the Prophet (s) birthday or do loud dhikr in gatherings and the brother does all these but states he has evidence which i have read and clarified by the learned, all of whom say the hadith have been misunderstood.


    I will continue to make dua' and read the istikhara but am also very sad and confused and wish i had got this sorted sooner. I have found qualities in him that most lack mashallah and for this reason i would be extremely sad to let him go but i know its all qadr anyway.


    Allahu alam


    Would like to hear your thoughts inshallah!


    JZK
    Wasalaam

  19. #19
    أسد الإسلام shaquille20's Avatar
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    Alright, this thread looks kinda disgusting...
    The reason is why so much division... I consider myself salafi but a Sufi is no kaafir... they are muslim as well... And because of this division, the muslim Ummah is in such a state... The question is WHY?

    to the salafi: Would you dine at a Sufi house? Would you consider them your brethren, (the answer is YES because Sufi's belive in 'la ilaha illallahu muhammadur rasoolulllah' just like the salafi, and most other sects..

    There are minor things that can be worked out but seriously, dividing muslims into sects is something that is not good... The ummah needs a reunion, not more division...

  20. #20
    musliminsouth
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    Exclamation Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    been in that situation, woman couldnt handle it so she pulled out.
    GO 4 IT!

  21. #21
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by the_middle_road View Post
    I don't get how some people are so quick to judge the brother. We know absolutely nothing about him. Subhanallah!!!!!
    agreed. subhanllah. the psots in some of this thread ae so ignorant and despicable.

    my husband has no madhab (i call him pick and mix qattar wahabbi) im strict hanafi and sufi inclined. he allows me to practice according to quran and sunnah and my madhab- his justification is that 'my sins are mine and yours are yours, my grave is mine and yours is your- your actions are judged by intentions, do as you are comfortable with as being consitent with what the deen allows'

    all these sectarian hang ups are so devisive. it'll only be a huge issue if you make it one
    Sayyiduna Umar (Allah be pleased with him) said, "I heard the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) say, “If you relied on Allah as He should be relied on, He would provide for you as He provides for birds.
    They go out hungry in the early morning, and return full in the evening." [Tirmidhi]


    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Do not try to run away from trials and tribulations, but endure them with patience. They cannot be avoided, and there is nothing for it but to endure them with patience. How can you expect the whole of this world, and all that has been created therein, to undergo change and transformation just to suit your convenience? The Prophets are the best of all creatures, yet they have always had to suffer afflictions and so it is for their followers, those who tread in their footsteps as they walk along their highway, emulating their example.


    Shaikh Abdul Qadir al-Jilani

  22. #22
    is STILL mawliding*joy*:D Chained_Water's Avatar
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Eemaan View Post
    agreed. subhanllah. the psots in some of this thread ae so ignorant and despicable.

    my husband has no madhab (i call him pick and mix qattar wahabbi) im strict hanafi and sufi inclined. he allows me to practice according to quran and sunnah and my madhab- his justification is that 'my sins are mine and yours are yours, my grave is mine and yours is your- your actions are judged by intentions, do as you are comfortable with as being consitent with what the deen allows'

    all these sectarian hang ups are so devisive. it'll only be a huge issue if you make it one
    mashaAllah, nazar na lag jaye
    My Lord, my trust in all Your purposes is strong, That trust is now my shield; I'm safe, and undeceived.- Ali bin Husayn al-Habshi

    Real forsaking is forgetting the thing forsaken.- Shaykh al-Shadhili

    Live as long as you wish, you shall die. Love whatever you wish, you shall be separated from it. Do whatever you wish, you shall be rewarded for it. - Jibreel (as)

    ياَ أَبَا اَلزَّهْرَاء وَلَّذِي صَانَكْ- لاَتُخَيِّبْنَا يَا سِيْدِي نَحْنُ ضِيْفَانَكْ
    O father of Zahra, for the sake of the One who protected you,
    Please do not leave us disappointed, O master, we are your guests. - Shaykh Ahmad al-Alawi (rh)

    أَنتَ رَبّي وَ عِلْمُكَ حَسْبِيْ. فَنِعْمَ الرَّبُّ رَبِّي وَ نِعْمَ الحَسْبُ حَسْبِيْ.ـ حِزْبُ البَحْر

  23. #23
    Humbled Eemaan's Avatar
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Chained_Water View Post
    mashaAllah, nazar na lag jaye
    *blushes behind dupatta*
    Sayyiduna Umar (Allah be pleased with him) said, "I heard the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) say, “If you relied on Allah as He should be relied on, He would provide for you as He provides for birds.
    They go out hungry in the early morning, and return full in the evening." [Tirmidhi]


    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Do not try to run away from trials and tribulations, but endure them with patience. They cannot be avoided, and there is nothing for it but to endure them with patience. How can you expect the whole of this world, and all that has been created therein, to undergo change and transformation just to suit your convenience? The Prophets are the best of all creatures, yet they have always had to suffer afflictions and so it is for their followers, those who tread in their footsteps as they walk along their highway, emulating their example.


    Shaikh Abdul Qadir al-Jilani

  24. #24
    A rose, Poetry and Prose zammy's Avatar
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    if his views differ from quran/sunnah according to the understanding of the salaf..then don't marry him. If that's not the case, then alhamdulillah, go for it. If there's at least one place where you cannot afford any sort of disunity, it's in your own household.
    May we reach daruSalaam by His, and only His Decree
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  25. #25
    أبو حمزة Salman Al-Farsi's Avatar
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    In my opinion marrying someone who hold exactly same views as you can be counter productive in many ways, and also you should marry someone who will be good for you, your family, your life, your future children, someone you can love for who they are and not the banter of sectertian affiliation they carry. Marry someone who has taqwah and someone who will be a good companion for you, all that Soufi, salafi, madhabs, sects is all insignificant
    "The objective behind Shari'ah is to liberate individuals from his desires in order to be a true Abd (slave) of Allah and that is the legitimate Maslaha... Violating the Shari'ah under the pretext of following Maqasid al-Shari'ah is like the one who cares about the spirit without the body and since the body without the spirit is useless therefore the spirit without the body is useless too." ~ Imam Shatibi - The greatest intellectual founder of Maqasid al-Shari'ah

  26. #26
    The Real Grand Mufti in_exile's Avatar
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Simple09 View Post
    Salaams


    I'm glad i found this forum, i'm now in the same position as the sister. i know she didn't marry the brother but i don't know what to do. I've also found a wonderful brother but we believe in different things. I wouldn't class myself as salafi. i'm just a simple sunni sister, striving to follow what's authentic but i fall short like most. However, i don't celebrate the Prophet (s) birthday or do loud dhikr in gatherings and the brother does all these but states he has evidence which i have read and clarified by the learned, all of whom say the hadith have been misunderstood.


    I will continue to make dua' and read the istikhara but am also very sad and confused and wish i had got this sorted sooner. I have found qualities in him that most lack mashallah and for this reason i would be extremely sad to let him go but i know its all qadr anyway.


    Allahu alam


    Would like to hear your thoughts inshallah!


    JZK
    Wasalaam
    walaikum assalam..

    simple question is do you want your children being taught that is ok to do those things... if you dont mind then you dont see them as serious... if you would detest if then dont marry him...
    FEAR ALLAH (SWT) AS HE DESERVES TO BE FEARED!!!
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    *Sisters please do not rep or PM me as my wife will kill me so rep her instead*

  27. #27
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Eemaan View Post
    agreed. subhanllah. the psots in some of this thread ae so ignorant and despicable.

    my husband has no madhab (i call him pick and mix qattar wahabbi) im strict hanafi and sufi inclined. he allows me to practice according to quran and sunnah and my madhab- his justification is that 'my sins are mine and yours are yours, my grave is mine and yours is your- your actions are judged by intentions, do as you are comfortable with as being consitent with what the deen allows'

    all these sectarian hang ups are so devisive. it'll only be a huge issue if you make it one
    a woman will take her father, her brother, her husband and her son to hell with her...

    a wife will be the mother of your children and will bring them up and teach them islam... if her views on islam are distorted then she will raise the children to have them distorted views...

    im not saying that your views are wrong, im saying that the way of thinking your saying about let your husband or wife be as they are is not correct...
    FEAR ALLAH (SWT) AS HE DESERVES TO BE FEARED!!!
    OH Allah help your slaves in As Sham
    Donate to syria.
    *Sisters please do not rep or PM me as my wife will kill me so rep her instead*

  28. #28
    is STILL mawliding*joy*:D Chained_Water's Avatar
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    ^^ It's called tolerance and is a virtuous trait that helps a person live peacefully with those around them, be it one's spouse, siblings, parents, in-laws, other Muslims or even non-Muslims.

    We can't completely control anyone else around us, nor do we have the right to attempt that, so why do we think we should? At best, a person can seek to influence or convince another in any number of ways, and failing that if relations are to be maintained in any healthy way, there has to be tolerance and you have to let people live.

    "To me my way and to you your own." is a good maxim when it comes to two parties having equally unwavering belief in opposing things.
    My Lord, my trust in all Your purposes is strong, That trust is now my shield; I'm safe, and undeceived.- Ali bin Husayn al-Habshi

    Real forsaking is forgetting the thing forsaken.- Shaykh al-Shadhili

    Live as long as you wish, you shall die. Love whatever you wish, you shall be separated from it. Do whatever you wish, you shall be rewarded for it. - Jibreel (as)

    ياَ أَبَا اَلزَّهْرَاء وَلَّذِي صَانَكْ- لاَتُخَيِّبْنَا يَا سِيْدِي نَحْنُ ضِيْفَانَكْ
    O father of Zahra, for the sake of the One who protected you,
    Please do not leave us disappointed, O master, we are your guests. - Shaykh Ahmad al-Alawi (rh)

    أَنتَ رَبّي وَ عِلْمُكَ حَسْبِيْ. فَنِعْمَ الرَّبُّ رَبِّي وَ نِعْمَ الحَسْبُ حَسْبِيْ.ـ حِزْبُ البَحْر

  29. #29
    Salafibrther
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    Sister, take the advice of a salafi brother. Stop the marriage and marry a salafi brother. There are plenty out there looking for good sisters.

  30. #30
    The Real Grand Mufti in_exile's Avatar
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Chained_Water View Post
    ^^ It's called tolerance and is a virtuous trait that helps a person live peacefully with those around them, be it one's spouse, siblings, parents, in-laws, other Muslims or even non-Muslims.

    We can't completely control anyone else around us, nor do we have the right to attempt that, so why do we think we should? At best, a person can seek to influence or convince another in any number of ways, and failing that if relations are to be maintained in any healthy way, there has to be tolerance and you have to let people live.

    "To me my way and to you your own." is a good maxim when it comes to two parties having equally unwavering belief in opposing things.
    i'm all for tolerance... but when it comes to your children then they taught only that which you believe is the truth..if someone teaches them something you believe is biddah then no there is no tolerance...

    and yes if you have a friend and he does some things which are biddah or a business colleague, so you try to advise him you be friendly with him etc... but the same situation is not in your house...

    i mean imagine a husband comes home and his wife is asking some pir for help or doing some next biddah in your house like chalivin or something... or she says i just been to some next persons grave... then at the point that is the limit of tolerance...to me my way and to you yours is all well and good.. but in the house their is only way and that is the husbands... so if he is some biddati then its better the person does not marry him and if she is a biddati its better he does not marry her...
    FEAR ALLAH (SWT) AS HE DESERVES TO BE FEARED!!!
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  31. #31
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    I don't think tolerance is the right word. It has negative connotations. I love my sister and care for my three brothers. Their differences are not something I tolerate. It is something I accept as being part of them.

    We all have things we can accept, as well as things we cannot accept. Like others have mentioned already, as long as the differences are acceptable than it's not much of a problem.

  32. #32
    convinced
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    nah - if we live for the sake of Allah, we marry for the sake of Allah. To consider this is either that you are not convinced by your truth or you just don't really care.
    May Allah have mercy on us and guide us all.

  33. #33
    Sameenf
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    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    I just came across this thread by accident. I'm facing upto a position where the roles were reversed dramatically and I would have been a raised Sunni and my fiance'e would have been a Sufi. Initially I was sceptical because of the reputation of sufi imposters and I was worried about how that would impact upon my family. I wanted to make sure that it wasn't nonsense sufi'ism and introduced her to my family who took to her well. My father and grandfather are content with her both islamically and as a person.

    We've got along beautifully outside of everything but religion. We have common interests and understand each other as friends. I practise my religion privately and largely in accordance with the ways in which i had been taught and raised. I've never said anything bad about sufi'ism but took some time to understand it. The problems are lying in that she would think that i'm incompatible with her because i'm not under instruction from a Sheikh or that I'm not now as good a match as a practising sufi muslim bachelor. It makes me feel a bit insecure to be put in that light.

    We're now ironically divided by faith and at an impasse. Sufi'ism isn't really a problem for me and I would feel comfortable in my children being taught and raised by a mother in this discipline. Whilst i declined a sheikh, I did my own reading and find that adopting the Tassawuf would make me a better person and a husband over time. However, that seems to be never enough and its frustrating because I think both of our intentions were genuine at the time of engagement. Now it's called off but i take time nonetheless.

    I want to quickly thank the brother who outlined the basic principles of sufi'ism. These are true although there is a lot more and it depends upon interpretation. I feel really disappointed with the people who have emphasised breaking-up and splitting up on the basis of faith. I'm not one to judge the sister and anyone else who breaks up. What I would say is that there is an opportunity when confronted by different beliefs to be able to use them to reflect upon your own beliefs. To think about them and to consider islam in a different way. I think that would make you stronger.

    I want to say something but i believe it would be antagonistic. Marriages are a relationship, made sacrosant in Islam but they are still this nonetheless. All relationships are difficult enough as they are over time, believe me, I was happy enough on my own before we met. I'm finding hard to accept that just being a practising muslim, observing all of the customs and following an interpretation of the quran and respecting the authority of Fiqh would be sufficient for the marriage to work.

    There are still basic aspects, fundamental in relationship building. That maybe Islam already covers except in a general sense rather than in marriage. Two of these should be tolerance and respect. Accepting your partner as they are, but maybe changing them to become who you want to be. In the same way that marriage would change you, deepen your faith, evolve from a child to manhood, to a man and becoming a father. I find my faith is somewhere i can turn for that. Sufi'ism and its differences become tangential because at the heart of it, you have to make sure that the relationship works.

    I'm disappointed so deeply in the intolerance of some muslims. They forget they are obeying a religion and behave as if they follow a cult. If it isn't religion it becomes race, and I already made clear it was my wish to marry a muslim woman irrespective of her ethnicity to my own family. If i believed in a cult, i would have been a mormon or a scientologist. I find it hard to accept because of course, we know around the world there are mixed-faith couples. One can look to Lebanon, Bosnia and Turkey and name others.

    I've diverged away from my personal issues because there may be no solution and we may never resolve this difference. The hurt is something to live with and I've generalised because i believe my position is something that would be common to others. Allah has given you your partners and for a reason. Love doesn't come naturally or easily to anyone if they are mature enough. Yet there are still muslims who believe in abusing fate by resorting to faith.

    If this something that cannot be tolerated then one shouldn't live in a world where people are different, men and women. If one can't resolve to understand or listen and remain arrogantly stuck in their ways then they should certainly not enter into marriage yet. Because for all their devoutness, they've betrayed the basic principles of Islam which attracts new followers every day due to this.

  34. #34
    Salafimanhaj
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    Angry Re: salafi

    I am disgusted by the Salafi view that everything should be as the husband states. Stop treating your sisters. your mothers, your wives and daughters like slaves. Stop seeing them as sexual objects who have to lose their femininity so that you do not fall into sin. And don't give me that pathetic argument that dressing us up in black drapes will protect us and give us respect and prevent us from being treated like sexual objects. It is the Salafi brothers that treat women like sex objects--every time they see a women all they think about is sex. They never see a woman as a human being capable of accomplishing so much. These damn Salafis have hijacked Islam and distorted so much that it makes me sick.

    I pray 5x a day and I would rather marry a man who sees me as his partner in life than be concerned with his madhab. If we both believe in Allah and respect each other we shall raise our kids to do the same. I dont need my husband to see me as a slave good only for sex and making babies--this is all the Salafis see women for.

    They are so concerned with their hadiths that they no longer follow the Quran. Shame on you, you are the kaffirs who have made the Prophet into God and have forgotten about Allah.

    Women do not put their husbands, fathers, sons and brothers into hell. It is the Salafi manhaj that has made all Muslim men sexual preverts focused on the finding women to sleep with and trying to subdue their sexual perversion by controlling how women dress, act and or live.

    Marry the person who makes you happy and with whom you can live well and raise a family. Common belief in Allah and the pillars of Islam are enough to guide the basics. Everything else will come with time. In this society people are so focused on trying to show others that they follow the Salafi manhaj that they live life fooling themselves and being blind followers of their triod publications and sheiks who have no background in Islam but a long beard and some lectures that they have given.

    LET US BE!!! IF WANT TO CALL MYSELF A MUSLIM THAT IS MY BUSINESS NOT SOME LONGBEARED SELF-APPOINTED SHEIKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    DO NOT TREAT ME AS A SEXUAL SLAVE. I AM WOMAN AND ALLAH MADE ME LIKE THIS!! IF ALLAH WANTED ME TO BE A SEXUAL SLAVE HE WOULD HAVE SAID SO IN THE QURAN. ALL THESE HADITHS ABOUT THE SUBMISSION OF WOMEN AND THE ANGER OF ANGELS WHEN A WIFE DOESN'T OBEY HER HUSBAND IS ALL BULL****, FABRICATED BY WEAK MEN TO CONTROL WOMEN. IF YOU BELIEVE IN THE HADITHS SO MUCH THEN MARRY YOUR 6 YEARS OLD DAUGHTER TO A 40 YEAR OLD MAN!!!! if you can't then get lost and dont feed me your salafi manhaj.. It's all politics and not an ounce of true islam!!!!!!!!!!!

  35. #35
    no name
    Guests

    Re: salafi

    I think this is an excellent post sister! Salafi men are everything that is wrong with islam



    Quote Originally Posted by Salafimanhaj View Post
    I am disgusted by the Salafi view that everything should be as the husband states. Stop treating your sisters. your mothers, your wives and daughters like slaves. Stop seeing them as sexual objects who have to lose their femininity so that you do not fall into sin. And don't give me that pathetic argument that dressing us up in black drapes will protect us and give us respect and prevent us from being treated like sexual objects. It is the Salafi brothers that treat women like sex objects--every time they see a women all they think about is sex. They never see a woman as a human being capable of accomplishing so much. These damn Salafis have hijacked Islam and distorted so much that it makes me sick.

    I pray 5x a day and I would rather marry a man who sees me as his partner in life than be concerned with his madhab. If we both believe in Allah and respect each other we shall raise our kids to do the same. I dont need my husband to see me as a slave good only for sex and making babies--this is all the Salafis see women for.

    They are so concerned with their hadiths that they no longer follow the Quran. Shame on you, you are the kaffirs who have made the Prophet into God and have forgotten about Allah.

    Women do not put their husbands, fathers, sons and brothers into hell. It is the Salafi manhaj that has made all Muslim men sexual preverts focused on the finding women to sleep with and trying to subdue their sexual perversion by controlling how women dress, act and or live.

    Marry the person who makes you happy and with whom you can live well and raise a family. Common belief in Allah and the pillars of Islam are enough to guide the basics. Everything else will come with time. In this society people are so focused on trying to show others that they follow the Salafi manhaj that they live life fooling themselves and being blind followers of their triod publications and sheiks who have no background in Islam but a long beard and some lectures that they have given.

    LET US BE!!! IF WANT TO CALL MYSELF A MUSLIM THAT IS MY BUSINESS NOT SOME LONGBEARED SELF-APPOINTED SHEIKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    DO NOT TREAT ME AS A SEXUAL SLAVE. I AM WOMAN AND ALLAH MADE ME LIKE THIS!! IF ALLAH WANTED ME TO BE A SEXUAL SLAVE HE WOULD HAVE SAID SO IN THE QURAN. ALL THESE HADITHS ABOUT THE SUBMISSION OF WOMEN AND THE ANGER OF ANGELS WHEN A WIFE DOESN'T OBEY HER HUSBAND IS ALL BULL****, FABRICATED BY WEAK MEN TO CONTROL WOMEN. IF YOU BELIEVE IN THE HADITHS SO MUCH THEN MARRY YOUR 6 YEARS OLD DAUGHTER TO A 40 YEAR OLD MAN!!!! if you can't then get lost and dont feed me your salafi manhaj.. It's all politics and not an ounce of true islam!!!!!!!!!!!


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